Ego

One of the struggles I have with minimalism is the tension between my ego and the very real need I have to project a professional image.  Frequently, when we talk about projecting a “professional” image, we are really talking about projecting the image that we are wealthy.  For example, a cotton tank top is not generally considered professional enough for the most conservative of professional situations.  Make the same top out of silk, charge over $100 for it and call it a “shell” and it’s fine.  They are the same shape/silhouette and cover the same amount of skin, but the cotton tank top is considered inherently less professional for some reason.  Such arbitrary “rules” exclude marginalized populations from the professional sphere.

Scuffed shoes or bags and pilled or faded clothes are definite no-nos when it comes to looking “professional.”  A scuff or two doesn’t have any impact on the functionality of the shoes, but this cultural idea of “professionalism” forces us to get rid of shoes before we might really have to.  The conflation of “professional” and “wealthy” that we see here probably has to do with what I talked about previously: the idea we have, especially in America, that to be successful is to be wealthy and to flaunt that wealth.  In our society, by projecting wealth, we also project professionalism.  We are saying, “Look at how expensive my clothes are!  I must make a lot of money and be really great at what I do to afford these clothes!”  The lawyer with the scuffed shoes must not be such a great lawyer if they can’t afford new shoes.  That someone could afford new shoes but chooses to wear a scuffed, older pair is unfathomable in our society.

While in California, the driver of the bus tour told us that very wealthy people often purchase mansions for millions of dollars, only to knock them to the ground and rebuild.  It does not matter to them who lived there previously, how old the mansion is, etc.  In fact, many celebrity homes are lost due to this phenomenon.  They do this simply because they do not want to live in a “used” mansion.  This is totally ego-based.  I can imagine them telling their friends nonchalantly, “Oh yes, we’re just going to tear this old thing to the ground and totally rebuild…”  It’s like the ultimate humblebrag—I can not only to afford to buy this mansion, but to knock it down and build another one!

Designer clothes, bags and shoes seem to be the expectation in more conservative professional environments.  What is truly necessary to present a professional image and what is just ego-stroking?  Is ego-stroking in this context even a bad thing?  There is, in fact, evidence that dressing more professionally increases productivity and recent trends towards more casual dress in the workplace might be hurting overall productivity.  Wearing my new watch and a new suit for a recent hearing, I noticed my voice sounded way more confident than normal.  I feel noticeably more confident when I look good.  I had to do some introspection at this realization: Do I need a luxury watch, designer clothes, etc. to feel confident?  To feel worthy of the judge’s time and attention?  Why do I feel this way?

I found the answer in teachings I had learned in yoga: Let go of ego.  We are not our physical body.  We are not the clothes that adorn it.  However, the reality is that our deeper, inner selves are not visible to others, and so we must sometimes use our physical bodies and adornments thereof to project our inner selves to the outer world, especially when it comes to situations where we want people to have a positive first impression.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Weekly Update: Week 26

I made another eBay sale this week!  $40 this time!

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DID I SPEND MONEY ON THIS WEEK?

We had dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant on Friday night to celebrate the beginning of our vacation.

This week, I was back on Amazon.  I bought some no-slip inserts for the shoes I recently bought.  While I recognize the Diderot effect in action, these shoes will be much more comfortable with the inserts and I definitely needed new shoes.

I also bought copies of books and CDs by some of my favorite comedians that I will be seeing at the convention in Los Angeles coming up.  While the fans will get to (informally) meet and greet the comedians, I’m not even sure they’ll be selling merch at the convention, so this might be the only way I can get autographs, which will be my souvenirs from this trip.

I also decided to buy a teacup.  While I definitely didn’t need it, I was gifted an heirloom tea set years ago for my wedding, and the antique set (which, according to my internet research is 100+ years old) came with 2 tea cups, but 3 saucers.  I finally decided to look on eBay and see if I could find a replacement and — lo and behold! — I found a seller who was selling the cups without the saucers.  I bought one to complete the set.

Like the shoes I had to replace recently, I also had to buy some new clothes for work.  Most of my work clothes are quite a few years old and some of it was given to me.  Because I have so few clothes for work, they wear faster, so I had to break down and buy a few more.  I went to Bloomingdales and bought a few high quality, versatile pieces while they had their 25% off “friends and family” sale — a new black suit and 2 dresses.  (My current black suit is about 4-5 years old at this point and worn often.  I needed a new one.)

Once again, this is where my minimalism collides with my professional goals–if it was up to me, I would not replace these clothes, but wearing faded, pilled clothing is not professional and would be looked down upon, especially for court.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I HAVE BOUGHT?

Total amount I saved that I would have spent this week: $0 (mostly because I bought all that other stuff.  Oops.)

Running Total: $3,620

Weekly Update: Week 24

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DID I SPEND MONEY ON THIS WEEK?

We have been pretty disciplined this week.  We have been concentrating on eating food we have in our house since Hurricane Irma.  The only grocery shopping we have done since my final stock-up before the storm was when my husband stopped and picked up some milk.  We were lucky that our power was not out long enough to ruin our food. What probably went a long way in saving our food was that we took large containers, filled them with water, and froze them, leaving the big containers of ice in the fridge and freezer for when the power went out.

By the weekend, the restlessness was starting to set in.  We had to get out of the house for awhile! We went out on Friday night to a restaurant we had already purchased a Groupon for–a Brazilian steakhouse where waitstaff walk around with large skewers of meat to offer to diners. After eating a large meal, we went to the mall–not to shop, but to walk around and help our digestion. We did not intend to purchase anything and we did not, but I have to admit I did get some enjoyment out of looking at things, even if I didn’t buy them.  We came home that night to a message from friends.  We made plans to meet up with them the next day and we spent most of Saturday hanging out with them.

We went to the local library’s book sale.  I did buy a book–an autographed copy of one of Arianna Huffington’s books for my autograph collection.  (It was embarrassingly inexpensive and the money goes to the library, which I patronize for free regularly.  I thought it was a win-win.)  Ironically, I noticed that many of the DVDs for sale at the library were the same movies I donated to the Goodwill months ago.  As I mentioned, many of those films are now available on streaming services, so I guess a lot of people finally felt better about letting go of them.

For those not in the know, this was the first Saturday of Oktoberfest.  We spent the afternoon at a local brewery’s Oktoberfest celebration.  It was really quite hot, so after a few hours, we decided to go get pizza at a local pizza place.

We also spent some money on future entertainment.  Planning our vacation in more detail, we purchased tickets to a local theme park for the “staycation” portion of our time off.  In addition, we bought a Groupon for a discounted Redbox gift card.  Conveniently, a movie I really want to see and don’t want to wait for it to get to Netflix to do so will be available on Redbox this week and I was planning to rent it anyway.

I could not resist the siren call of Amazon, though–I got an email offer for $15 promotional credit for Prime Now for purchasing $50 or more in Amazon gift cards.  I bought the gift card and spent it on consumable things on my wishlist I would have purchased eventually anyways: Essential oils for my diffuser–lemongrass and eucalyptus–plus kwan loong pain relief oil, which I swear by for my painful, recurring foot problems. (**Another totally free, un-coerced, un-sponsored product endorsement–if you have any kind of pain, I highly recommend this natural, topical oil.)

All of these are consumables.  Only one of the items I purchased from Amazon was nonconsumable–focusing on health, I will be purchasing a rehabilitative, medical device. (I won’t go into further personal details.)  I will be spending the $15 Prime Now credit on tea, body wash and face wash–also all consumables and all things I intended to buy soon.

I actually spent quite a lot of money this week, but (if I do say so myself) all of the purchases were made very mindfully, after much consideration, and fall into the categories of experiences, medical, or consumables.  I took advantage of “deals” for stuff I was going to spend money on anyways, rather than allowing a “deal” convince me to buy things I otherwise wouldn’t have.  I am actually quite proud of myself, since it is very clear to me how this money was spent in ways which are more in line with my needs and values.  None of this money was spent on “stuff” that will clutter up my house and I will decide in a year or two I hate.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I HAVE BOUGHT?

 

1. Missoni umbrella.  I guess the hurricane got me thinking about rain and umbrellas, and I saw this cheery Missoni one on Rue La La.

It’s obvious that there is a “floodgate” effect.  When I allow myself to purchase a few things, it’s hard to shut off the “shopping” part of my brain.  While I was browsing Amazon, I made the mistake of clicking the “new items” banner I saw.  And all of a sudden I wanted everything…

2. Agate coasters.  The day before I saw these on Amazon, my husband and I were discussing the merits of replacing the chipped, decade-old Thirstystone coasters we use that I kept from college.  Then I saw these, and you know I am obsessed with crystals.

3.  Agate bookends.  I have admired similar items when I have seen them in Homegoods and stores of that ilk.  They would match the coasters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.  Baggu drawstring bag.  If you’ve been paying attention at all, you know I love bags.  I have totes, shoulder bags, crossbody bags, clutches/wristlets, a satchel, and a briefcase. One of the few types of bags I do not own is a drawstring bag.  It strikes me as very classy, but casual in a way other bags aren’t.

5. Owl kitchen mat.  I saw this and immediately thought about how cute it would look in our kitchen, which is currently without any kind of mat.

6.  “Little But Fierce” as a woman who has always been small for my age, this (adapted from the Shakespeare quote) is practically my life motto.

7.  Sloth canvas tote.  Obviously, the last thing I need are new bags, but this is just too cute.

Total amount I saved that I would have spent this week: $273

Running Total: $3,620

Weekly Update: Week 23

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DID I SPEND MONEY ON THIS WEEK?

This week, I got my suits dry cleaned.  I also bought some fiber supplements, paid this month’s massage membership fee and filled up my gas tank in preparation for the storm. We are in the path of Hurricane Irma, so we bought bottled water, bread, etc.  We already had a good stock of protein bars and powder, nutrigrain bars and other snacks–my lunches most days as I move from one job to another without a lunch break–so there wasn’t much preparation needed.

Beginning to plan our L.A. vacation in greater detail, we purchased our tickets to see a show at The Comedy Store, one of the greatest comedy clubs in the world, and at Largo, another great comedy club, when we are in Los Angeles. If you’ve paid attention at all to this blog you will know I am a huge fan of comedy. In addition to attending the convention, a main purpose of this vacation is to visit these comedy clubs.

While we didn’t spend any money, we also requested tickets for a television taping for a late night show during our Los Angeles trip.  The tickets are free, but we won’t get confirmation until closer to the date whether we will actually be given tickets or not.

We also bought tickets to a local comedy show coming up in a few weeks. We get free tickets quite often, but we actually had to purchase our tickets to this one.  We didn’t eat out or really spend any other money this week.  I was really impressed as I sat down to write this.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I HAVE BOUGHT?

1.  Pearl Necklace.  Pearls are a classy, conservative choice for accessorizing.  When I saw this beautiful necklace on sale on Rue La La, I was very tempted to purchase it.

Total amount I saved that I would have spent this week: $100

Running Total: $3,347

What I Have Gained From Minimalism

One thing that has been a constant in my minimalist journey is that I’ll make a huge change and wish I’d taken “before” pictures.  (I have had this frustrating experience so many times that, when we decided to revamp the living room last weekend, I finally remembered!) So here are some of the “after” pictures…

Minimalism can impact almost every area of our lives and the benefits can be innumerable. I’ve talked before about the benefits, but I am discovering new ones everyday. I have gotten rid of so much excess stuff in my life since starting my minimalist journey and the year of buying nothing–about 7 carloads worth!–that it’s easy to concentrate on what I’ve lost instead of what I’ve gained:

1.  A clean refrigerator: Removing all the magnets from the refrigerator (except for one with the local police department’s non emergency phone number) allows me to more easily clean the surface.  I got rid of all but a few that were most important to me, including:

magnets from a trip to England as a teenager

and some that my college roommate, a talented artist, designed. Check out her portfolio. Browsing her website to plug it here, I learned that you can buy a shirt she designed from Shirt Woot.

In order to prominently display these, rather than having them be a few in a sea of dirty magnets on a dirty refrigerator, I had to get rid of at least 10 magnets, including a few I had convinced myself had sentimental significance: 1) a magnet personalized with my name from a school field trip to the zoo when I was in elementary school that was starting to yellow with age, 2) a magnet from a family trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains that said “I’d rather be hiking the Appalachian Trail.”  (Note: this was around the time Gov. Mark Sanford disappeared with his mistress and staffers claimed he was “hiking the Appalachian Trail.” As a close follower of politics, this struck me as amusing and I decided to buy it as a souvenir.)

2.  A clean coffee table:  Before, this coffee table had 2 coffee table books, a candy dish, 4 picture frames, a box of tissues and a candle on it.  Keeping the coffee table clear of everything (save a coaster or two occasionally) allows me to keep the surface polished easily and maintain the quality of the wood.  I donated everything that was previously on top of the table and keep a box of tissues in the storage section in the table.  It can be used as a surface to play board games (of which there are several stored in the storage sections of this coffee table) with friends.

3. Art on the wall:  I was able to hang my photography on the wall. These are photos I took myself (one even won first place in a photography contest in high school!) that my Mom had framed and matted beautifully. They had been hidden away in a storage bin since I moved in–We had never bothered to hang them. They are now prominently displayed, as they should be.

4.  Tablecloth from my Grandmother:  This small tablecloth with the Spanish dancers was brought back for me by my Grandmother as a souvenir from when she went to Spain.  It fits beautifully on an end table or night stand.  It was on my nightstand for a brief period, but after I moved, it was stored away with the other tablecloths (the ones for the dinner table) and I never bothered to put it anywhere.  This now has a proud spot in the living room on the end table.

5.  Handbags stored properly:  I have made room so that now my prized handbags can be properly stored and protected in dust bags. I did not have the room before minimizing to properly store these bags, and that could result in damage to the leather. Gotta keep them safe and protected.

6. A tranquil work space:  I showed a closeup of my desk and the crystals and statues I keep on it when I talked about my collections. Here’s a better view of my work area. While this may still seem cluttered to some, consider that before minimizing, I could not fit my computer on my desk; it was kept in the keyboard tray.  I had so many trinkets and things on the desktop that it could not even be used for its primary purpose: to house my computer. I really wish I had a “before” picture to go with this tranquil “after”:

Long story short: by minimizing the excess, I have room to display what is truly important to me without being distracted by anything extraneous. Everything that surrounds me has importance to me. For example, on that end table that is covered by the tabelcloth my Grandmother bought me from Spain, there is a frame with photos of our family, including our niece the day she was born. Next to that is the ceramic claddagh that topped the wedding cake at our minimalist wedding. Everything else that was on that end table–candles and other stuff I don’t even remember–has been removed to allow these important items a prominent spot in my home and in my life.

If you haven’t picked up on the recurring theme, it is that minimizing has allowed me to more prominently display and better care for the things that are truly most important to me by getting rid of everything that is not.

Weekly Update: Week 22

I made an eBay sale! It’s been awhile since I’ve made a sale, but I recently added quite a few more things. It wasn’t a particularly expensive item, but I’m glad for the extra room in my closet and in my life.  I’ve been listing new things on eBay like crazy and I currently have 21 active listings.

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DID I SPEND MONEY ON THIS WEEK?

After the two lightbulbs blew out previously, another lightbulb blew, this time in the bedroom. I couldn’t make this up. I know what you’re thinking, because it’s what I thought: “There has to be a reasonable explanation. At some point, all of those lightbulbs must have been replaced around the same time period, which would explain why they’re all blowing at the same time.” Nope. Those lightbulbs were all replaced at drastically different times in the past.  I was not the only one who experienced this phenomenon–a Facebook friend of mine had a similar occurrence:

All I can say is that Mercury is still in retrograde and many people believe this has an impact on life on Earth, particularly with anything electronic or mechanical. I’m not sure if I really believe this or not, but the “coincidences” keep stacking up.  In addition to the lightbulbs, my car started making a strange clacking noise in the dashboard this week.

We started the weekend by meeting up with an old friend of my husband’s, who is visiting from Oregon, and we had dinner with him and his son on Friday night. The friend was nice enough to treat us for dinner. On Saturday night, we tried out a new restaurant we had gotten a Groupon for.

We found out from some friends about a bulk store in our area.  I’m passionate about the environment and do what I can (bring reusable bags to the grocery store, bring my own travel mug to Starbucks, use glass water bottles, etc.) but I wasn’t sure what else I could do.  I have been reading some zero waste blogs with interest and several had mentioned bulk (packaging-free) stores, but assumed there was no bulk store located near us.  A bulk chain called Bulk Nation has a location near us.  Customers bring their own containers (or buy some there), have them weighed before shopping and then fill their containers with the products. At checkout, customers are charged by the weight (less the weight of the containers).  They have all kinds of products like trail mixes, loose leaf teas and coffee, rice, pasta, candy, oats, flour, honey, olive oil, and (my husband’s favorite) nut butter–which you grind fresh yourself in the store.  We will probably never be a zero waste household, but we do what we can.

Bulk store haul–we brought our own mason jars to fill

On Sunday, we finally took action about our rapidly deteriorating sofas, which had been bothering us for awhile. Last year, there was a class action lawsuit regarding the poor quality of this furniture. Unfortunately, we bought this Ashley Furniture sofa from Big Lots and not directly from an Ashley Furniture Homestore, so we were not included in the settlement. Members of this class received a “settlement” of a $25 gift card to use at Ashley Furniture Homestores, which would not have been useful to us in any event. We decided slipcovers would be the most economical solution to the problem of our peeling couches.

And while we were at it, decided to revamp the living room with some pretty window treatments as we update the couch with slip covers.  For a few hundred dollars, we totally changed the look of our living room and extended the life of our sofa by years.

Before

After

WHAT ELSE WOULD I HAVE BOUGHT?

1. Leather desk pad.  I have eyed the Saddleback leather desk set before, but couldn’t justify the $300+ pricetag and don’t need all 3 sizes.  Desk pads served a purpose in the past–Also called “blotters,” back in the day when writing was done with quills or fountain pens that could leak ink through the page, these pads kept ink off the desk. They can still serve a practical purpose–a flat surface to write on without imprinting into the desk–but most people have little use for this.  I have legal pads to use as a writing surface if need be, but I don’t find myself handwriting enough that I would have to worry about my desk.  I suppose it would be useful for the small amount of hand writing I do, but to be honest, I mostly just think it would look cool.

2. Mulberry Bayswater.  I really like the Mulberry Bayswater for a super professional work tote. The $1,200 pricetag for a new one is well out of my price range, but an eBay find was closer to my comfort zone price wise.  This would still be the most expensive bag I own, by far. (My Satchel & Page briefcase currently holds that spot). You know as well as I do that I do not need any more handbags.

Total amount I saved that I would have spent this week: $665

Running Total: $3,247

Minimalism and Work

Like many people in this new “gig economy,” I have several part time jobs.  I work for a company that provides hearing coverage for attorneys who are unable to attend their hearings—Primarily, this job involves mediating settlements in debt collection cases on behalf of credit card companies.  I also work part time at a law firm that mostly practices family law and business law.  In addition to practicing law, I teach yoga and I write articles for a local political website.  My jobs have helped convince me of the necessity of minimalism; In fact, if everyone was a minimalist, I would probably be out of work!  

Negotiating with defendants who are being sued to collect their debt, I hear their stories every day.  Nobody took out the loan or made the charges on their card assuming that they wouldn’t be able to pay it.  These are good people who lost their job/got sick/lost a loved one and fell behind on their bills.  Far too many Americans are a paycheck or two away from total financial ruin and I see it every day.  Being intentional with our money and spending it only on what is important allows us to provide ourselves with some breathing room—an emergency fund in case of the unimaginable.

My other job involves primarily divorces—I see every day how “stuff” can get in the way of relationships.  Not only is money the #1 cause for divorce, but I see how people who once loved one another will have nasty fights over material things.  Sometimes, the parents lose sight of what’s important and the children suffer in these divorces, as parents use the children as pawns to get back at one another.

As a yoga instructor, I see students who are in desperate need of healing.  The stress of life has left them disconnected from their body—unable to connect to their body or their breath, they experience anxiety and depression.  This mental restlessness manifests as physical restlessness and they turn to yoga for help.  Our modern lives have overwhelmed them.

One of the benefits of this combination of jobs is that my schedule can be fairly flexible.  I can simply decline offers for hearing coverage work if necessary, and I write articles about local politics from my home office, no matter the time of day.  It was not particularly difficult to get approval from all four bosses for 2 weeks off for my upcoming vacation.  This is clearly not the case for most people, as Americans take fewer vacation days than workers in most other developed countries.  While some workers are given 2 weeks paid vacation, very few use it all and even fewer take it all consecutively. One of my bosses did note that 2 weeks “is a long time” but we would “work around it,” subtly “vacation shaming” me despite the fact that I haven’t asked for a day off since I started working for them in July last year.

While the flexibility these jobs allow can be nice, it can also be stressful; not having any set hours means that all hours are my work hours.  My respective bosses do not know my schedule with my other jobs, and so they simply contact me when they need something.  It can be hectic, juggling my schedule with all of these various responsibilities.  It is my responsibility to set boundaries and not to take on more than I can do.  Even I don’t know my schedule most of the time—hearings can be assigned as little as a day or two in advance, the solo firm I work with sometimes will move my schedule around last minute.

This means I have to advocate for myself and set boundaries, since most of my jobs do not have set hours or a set location.  I have to learn to say no when I need to. It is hard to say no when you can put a direct dollar figure on it.  I know exactly how much I would have been paid for those hearings I had to decline when I took the morning off to go to the doctor.

I have to resist the temptation to be instantly available 24/7.  Often, this will be taken advantage of and taken for granted. For example, one morning, I received a text message at 4:30 in the morning from the coordinator of the place I teach yoga about setting the next month’s fitness class schedule.  (Luckily, my phone is set to do not disturb when I am asleep and did not wake me up.)  As a fitness buff, no doubt she simply sent that text when she woke up early in the morning to work out.  Mere hours later, I got a call from a second boss around 7:15am regarding a hearing coverage emergency for that morning (my phone was still on silent, so I called back 15-20 minutes later, when I saw the missed call.)

When I got out of the shower around 7:30am and saw the missed call, voicemail and text, it would be easy to get overwhelmed by all of this.  What helps me not to be overwhelmed is to 1) prioritize and 2) deal with things one at a time.  I called my boss back about the coverage emergency and, after apologizing for calling so early and thanking me for calling them back, they informed me they had already found someone else to deal with the emergency before I had called back.  I had breakfast, headed to the courthouse and texted the other boss back later that day as I was waiting around the courthouse for my hearings.  Everything is not an emergency and everything does not need an immediate response.  Even for those with only one job, everyone has multiple tasks that need to get done.  Take a deep breath, prioritize, and concentrate on one thing at a time.  Most importantly, never be afraid to set boundaries and take care of yourself.  If you don’t, who will?

Weekly Update: Week 21

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, DID I SPEND MONEY ON THIS WEEK?

On Friday night we got free tickets and went to the comedy club.  The comedian was great, and this was the only meal we ate outside the home all week.  We also made a BJ’s run and stocked up–making sure we have plenty of appealing food options at home is essential to making sure we don’t give in to the temptation to order out.

I have to confess, I finally gave in and ordered new shoes.  I noticed that one of my go-to shoes, a pair I purchased in 2013, were looking a little worse for wear, despite regularly cleaning and polishing them.  I was hoping I’d be able to hold out until the year of buying nothing was over to replace them, but they have reached the point of no return. Remember when the Daily Mail recently came after Chelsea Clinton for her “damaged shoes”?!?!?  Mine are way worse, and Chelsea wasn’t even appearing in front of a judge or anything!

This is another aspect of my life where minimalism and my corporate aspirations clash. While there is nothing functionally wrong with the shoes, I cannot go to work wearing those shoes.  My minimalist self says they’re well worn-in and comfy and, even though the stitching had come a little loose and there is a very noticeable scuff mark now, it’s not like the soles had started to separate or there was any structural damage to the shoes that would prevent me from wearing them.  The shoes could still fulfill their ultimate purpose of covering and protecting my feet.  However, it would be unprofessional and looked down upon for me to wear the shoes in such a condition to the courthouse.

After recently minimizing quite a few pairs of shoes I no longer wear, I have a fairly minimalist collection of shoes–3 pairs of flip flops (which is nothing, really, as where I live does not have seasons and I pretty much wear them when I’m not at work) 3 pairs of sneakers, 3 pairs of dress/work shoes, a pair of hiking boots and a pair of rain boots. (I know I should, since I don’t really use them anymore, but I just can’t persuade myself to get rid of the rain boots!) After getting rid of the aforementioned damaged pair, I am down to two pairs of dress/work, the newest of which is nearly a year old already.

Due to my wide feet and painful foot problems, it is difficult for me to buy shoes and I avoid it like the plague.  The only place I can reliably find wide width shoes is the online retailer Zappos.  (I swear I’m not getting paid to plug this or anything else!).  I ordered 3 pairs, which may seem excessive until we remember the 2 pairs I have are already pretty old already and shoes wear out much faster when you only have a few to rotate between.  I don’t know if I’ll keep all 3 pairs yet, but the cool thing about being a Zappos rewards member is 1) free 2-day or faster shipping and 2) free return shipping.  You basically bring the shoe store to your house, try them on at your leisure and return the ones you don’t like.  (They accept returns of merchandise in new condition for 365 days.)

WHAT ELSE WOULD I HAVE BOUGHT?

Well, I had to give in and buy some shoes….

Total amount I saved that I would have spent this week: $0

Running Total: $2582

Watches

Ever since I can remember, I have been a “watch person.”  Even in elementary school, I wore those plastic Timex kids watches from Walmart.  In middle school, I graduated to a Roxy watch with a lime green, silicone strap.  I had it for a very brief period before I noticed it had disappeared from my bedroom—stolen by either my brother or one of my friends that had been visiting.

In high school, I had a Caravelle by Bulova watch that I wore every day for probably 3-5 years, until the bracelet strap started to discolor.  (Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to me at the time to simply replace the strap).  I didn’t wear watches much in college, but got back in the habit during law school.  I now own 2 Fossil watches and a Skagen watch.  I purchased my first Fossil watch, an oversized, stainless steel chronograph watch while in law school. (Chronograph means it has a built-in, mechanical stop watch).  I chose a watch with the chronograph feature, because it would be handy for law school exams, bar preparation and other timed testing situations; not to mention, as a yoga teacher, I can use the stopwatch to ensure my classes are the appropriate length without having to remember what time I started.  Long before I had heard of minimalism, mindfulness, or intentionality, I deeply considered this purchase.  At the time, the $100 watch came with a jaw-dropping 11-year warranty.

As a matter of fact, I dropped the Fossil chronograph watch off for warranty repairs yesterday, prompting this discussion of watches.  After 5 years and 2 battery replacements, the stopwatch feature is having issues resetting and other movement/mechanical issues.  These repairs will only set me back $8.50, and if they can’t fix it, they will replace it under the warranty.  Few brands offer more than a 2-year warranty, and over 5 years is almost unheard of, even for luxury brands.  One exception I am aware of is Skagen, which boasts a lifetime warranty. (Edit: this watch came with a limited lifetime warranty at the time I purchased it; according to the website, they have also lowered their warranty to the standard 2 years.)

The second watch I bought, 2 years later, was a Skagen, in large part due to the lifetime warranty.  Though I already had the Fossil watch, this Skagen watch was lightweight, flashy, and attractive, with crystals in place of the numbers and a white, leather strap.  It is appropriate for more dressy occasions.  A friend once admired this watch, grabbing my wrist to get a good look and saying, “it must be good being a lawyer.”  This speaks to the elegant look, despite the relatively budget-friendly price tag.  This was a stark reminder of my privilege.

My most recent watch purchase was earlier this year, on March 28, 2017.  (Just days before the year of buying nothing started on April 3, 2017).  It had occurred to me that, as I advanced in my career, the large Fossil chronograph watch looked too casual and the Skagen watch with its crystal markers looked too flashy for the most conservative of professional situations.  I chose to buy a second Fossil watch and was extremely disappointed to learn that, as of 2017, the warranty for Fossil watches has been changed to only 2 years.  Their exceptional warranty was what made the brand stand out for me and the reason I initially chose them.  I went through with the purchase in spite of it; a smaller, gold tone watch with roman numeral numbers.  Simple, plain, and professional.  I don’t feel bad about being a minimalist and having 3 watches, because each of them has a distinct look and I wear each of them for different types of occasions.  I wear a watch pretty much every time I leave the house, with few exceptions, and I get a fair amount of use out of all of them.

My watch collection, minus the large Fossil chronograph that is in for repairs.

For comparison to the others, this the Fossil chronograph that is being repaired

One of my constant struggles is balancing my minimalism with the need to fit in in the corporate world.  I came across this article from Corporette (a favorite blog of mine about all things relevant to women in the corporate world.)  This article about watches discusses watches as status symbols and the author ponders the merits of different luxury watch brands, including the Cartier watch she owns personally.  This article made me wonder: do people judge me for my relatively inexpensive watches?  I also thought about something I have previously talked about that I call “the cycle of more.”  When I couldn’t afford one, I desperately wanted a Fossil watch; now that I have Fossil watches, I want a Cartier.  Once I get the “low end” $3,000 Cartier, will I then want the $8,000 one, the $15,000 one, all the way up to the $100,000 one???

The article makes the point that, for someone like me who wears a watch daily, the cost per wear is miniscule, even at those prices, because a luxury watch is an investment piece that should last a lifetime.  Shouldn’t I invest in something like this while I’m still relatively young to get the most out of it?  While all of this may be true, I can’t help but think about the type of vacation I could take for $3,000, or how many massages that would buy, or how that money could be put to better use paying off my student loans (and/or my husband’s secret debt.)  I can’t say this didn’t plant the seed in my head of saving up to purchase a luxury watch like that in the future, though.

At the end of the article, she states that you don’t have to buy a $3,000-$5,000 watch to fit in, adding “if you fall in love with a $500 watch, go for it!”  Though I really love watches and own 3 of them, none of them have been mind-blowingly expensive.  The cost of all 3 of them does not add up $500, let alone $3,000-$5,000!  The small Fossil and the Skagen were each under $100 and the large Fossil was about $110 with tax back in 2012.  I never really thought of my watches as a status symbol.  There was no mention that, in some settings, a $3,000+ watch might be ostentatious.

Many of the comments echoed the thoughts that were going through my head, with multiple comments singing the praises of both Fossil and Skagen.  Several of the comments noted that they wouldn’t feel right spending that type of money on a watch until their student loans were paid off.  In particular, a commenter identifying herself as Banker took the words right out of my mouth when she said her watch is a “Silver tank watch, by Fossil, and it was a gift. The idea of spending $3-5,000 on a watch blows my mind.”  That level of conspicuous consumption, indeed, “blows my mind” as well.  In fact, my entire wedding set (engagement ring AND diamond wedding band) did not cost $3,000.  Most people will not notice the brand of the watch you’re wearing and, to be honest, the type of people who would notice if I wore a Cartier watch are probably not the type of person I would want to impress.  They’re probably not the type that would be impressed by the least expensive models, anyway.

Choosing Minimalism

I’ve talked about times I have felt judged by others for my very un-flashy lifestyle. I’ve talked about checking our privilege.  But what I’ve yet to talk about is the times I’ve unfairly judged others.  We’ve all done it.

Most recently, a young legal assistant at the law firm I work for got engaged.  She received a gorgeous ring from her now-fiancé.  It is the typical, American, 1+ carat diamond.  Knowing how much she gets paid and that she’s still in school, I momentarily judged her (and her fiancé) for what I perceived to be a wasteful purchase that almost certainly put them in debt.  I reminded myself: I don’t know their situation.  We all have different priorities in life, financially and otherwise, and it’s unfair for me to judge.  I have come a long way in my minimalism journey, but I wasn’t always able to remind myself not to judge.  In the past, I have judged people for the opposite reason — they didn’t have/do/buy enough.

When I was in yoga teacher training, we did study sessions at the studio owner/teacher trainer’s house.  It was a small house and sparsely furnished.  I remember a bookcase, a kitchen table and chairs and not much else.  We all sat on the floor.  My immediate reaction was confusion: didn’t he make decent money as the studio owner?  Wasn’t his living room currently filled with a group of teacher trainees who all spent thousands of dollars to be there?  Why didn’t he have more stuff?

Minimalism wasn’t the buzzword back then it is now and he described himself as a “non-materialist.”  Training extended through the holiday season as he explained to the class that he doesn’t celebrate the holiday season; rather, he chooses to gift at other, unexpected times.  If he sees something he believes someone in his life would appreciate, he gifts it at that point, not during the obligatory holiday gifting season.  It is then truly a gift and not an obligation.  He requested we not gift him anything material for the holiday.  This all seemed quite pretentious to me at the time, but now I understand where he was coming from.  This person has had so many wonderful experiences in his life that I’m sure his “non-materialist” lifestyle allowed him the freedom to pursue; in addition to having taught yoga, including teacher trainings, he is a scuba diver and skydiver, and probably many other exciting things I do not know about.

During my undergraduate years, I participated in my school’s freshman program.  For incoming freshmen in their first semester, the school offered bundles of classes targeted towards freshmen with particular goals—pre-med, pre-law, education, etc. All of the students were in almost all of the same classes, including a class taught by a upperclassman with the same interests as a mentor.

While most of the students from the pre-law group I was in didn’t end up going to law school, there was one particularly bright student who I was surprised did not. 

At graduation, he was recognized as one of three students to graduate with a perfect 4.0 average.  At the time, when I found out his GPA and the fact that he wasn’t going to law school, I couldn’t believe it.  With just a halfway decent LSAT score, he could probably have his pick—and not have to worry too much about money, either.  “What a waste of hard work!” I thought to myself.

When I look back, I’m sure there were lots of people in his life not just thinking it to themselves.  I’m sure this young man had lots of pressure on him to take the LSAT and go to law school.  Now, I look back and think how brave it was of him to go ahead and do what he wanted with his life, rather than what others expected of him.  He knew himself well enough to know that he did not want a high-stress, corporate job.  Good for him!

He ended up devoting himself to the church.  I see the photos on his Facebook of him and his wife with their baby and he has the same big, bright smile he always had.  That smile, folks, is freedom.  He is not burdened by doing a job he doesn’t love.  He has clearly followed his conscience and his passion.  I hope everyone can find the same freedom in their lives.  There is more than one path in this life, and I wish that everyone has the courage to find the one that brings them the most happiness.